Why do women prefer homebirth? 

We who birth at home do not have to worry about the environment around us interfering with our birth. To be the masters of our environment. Everyone and everything that enters the home must do so at the permission of the family (even paramedics that that are called in the event of a transfer have to knock at the door). We have enough knowledge and faith in birth and no one is going to come in and say, ... "Your not going fast enough"... "Your supposed to do this and you can't do that"...."We are just doing what will keep you safe" (implying that what you want might invite danger)".

Is it possible to experience the environment of homebirth in hospital? To a certain degree I say yes, but it is not easy.

In order to establish a warm birthing environment that is under your control, you have to be able to say no. You must be willing to take on the responsibility of saying no to all the things the hospital says you must do in order to comply with hospital rules. And, be willing to be FULLY responsible for the birth outcome. You can not turn into some meek creature saying, "okay I'll do that, if you say so". To this day the wristbands in my birth pictures bug the shit out of me. I really didn't care about them at the time, but it bugs me today. I know I could have said no to that too. I took an ultrasound, I had my reasons in my head and it would make no difference to my decision to birth my breech. But to someone else in the same situation, what the doctor said in regards to that U/S could have demoralized them. Also, the medicine cabinet was so close that numerous times I thought about it and how nice the relief would feel. If you do not have the support that I did, it would be so easy to regress and doubt your abilities. Especially since they "know so much more than you do".

Birthing in a place that is not fully supportive of pure birth (non-medicated, non-induced/augmented, non-operative birth) is not easy. You have to be a strong individual to stand your ground and have them leave you alone.

The doctor commented to me after assessing that I was fully dilated and could now push (I had the urge, but with breech you are actually better off refraining till you are fully dilated, my midwife had already made me aware of this). He asked me "is there anything we can get you?" In my mind, at the time, this offer seemed to have a medical inclination to it. Maybe not. He could have been offering me orange juice. But to anyone else, if my support team (my husband, two doulas and a midwife) had not really known my birth convictions and I had started talking about drugs, everything could have just slid down hill from there. My points being that you have to understand that the environment can shape your experience, and you have to be really sure about why you want what you want. A great example is: you are laboring and you keep letting them check your cervix because they say they want to. Well just having someone you don't really know checking your cervix can set you back. This can then lead you to accept other interventions that you might other wise not desire. So you have to be strong and know that once labor has begun you are sure dilate.

I could give example after example, but this is not my intention. If your birth choices seem to rule out a homebirth because of the fact you can not get an attendant to come to you, then you are left with two choices...unassisted or hospital/birth center. For many it is just hospital. If this is the way it is for you then I suggest you start learning how to say NO. Start learning how to have faith in yourself. Start learning how to trust your support team (not just the hospital team). Know that NO ONE can tell you what to do. You can say NO to the EFM. You can say NO to the internal checks. You can ask for a different caregiver. You can birth in the shower if that is your choice.

There is a big difference in being strong in your desires and being defensive.

I wish best birth on everyone, and I wish knowledge on everyone. As far as I am concerned birthing at home is easy; you don't have to fight for what I want. It just happens. In hospital you have to "negotiate", "concede", and fight for your birth wishes. If you get a team in hospital that respects pure birth, you are lucky.